dude, honest abe's a 'mo! (ex_sporknin) wrote in kellyism,
dude, honest abe's a 'mo!

Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's, we were in that Hanoi pit of hell together for five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself but when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it'd been me, well, Major Coolidge would be talking to my son, Jim. But the way it turned out, I'm talking to you. Butch.

I got somethin for ya. This watch I got here was first purchased by your great grandfather during the first world war. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee, made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up till then people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by a private dough boy named Ryan Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris.

This was your great grandfather's war watch and he wore it every day he was in that war and when he'd done his duty, he went home to your great grandmother and took the watch off, put it in an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed till your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon my his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again, this time they called it world war two.

Your great grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's, Dane was a Marine and he was killed.. along with all the other Marines in the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death. He knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about them leavin that island alive, so three days before the Japanese took the island your granddad asked the gunner of the air force transport by the name of Winaki, a man he'd never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch.

Three days later your granddad was dead but Winaki kept his word. After the war was over he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father his Dad's gold watch.

This watch.

This watch was on your daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp, and he knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch they would confiscate it, and take it away. The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slop's gunna put his greasy yellow hands on his son's birthright so he hid it... in the one place he knew he could hide somethin, his ass. Five long years he wore this watch, up his ass. Then.. he died of dysentery, gave me the watch, I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Christopher Waulkin should've gotten an oscar for that monologue.
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